My life without Facebook

I've been doing a bit of self reflection over the Christmas and New Year period.  My life is not working for me right now, and I'm distracting myself with everything!  I would have missed out on seeing this gorgeous display of almost burst flowers in my garden if I had of allowed myself to remain distracted!



Gorgeous flowers about to bloom in my front yard!

It's time to eliminate distractions and focus on what I want from life.  Even more, to be excited by my life.  I want to move toward a life where I am achieving goals, in my work, my health, as a wife and mother.  I want to achieve success as a scientist, I want to be financially successful, I want to be fit and healthy, I want to take care of my body, I want my children to know I love them, I want my house to be a home that I feel good being in.

I want to be good person, with high ideals and to live by the principles that are guided by my spirit.

I'm not expecting to change overnight, not a huge change anyway, but I have already shifted my mindset.  I will only surround myself with 'inputs' that support my life.  

And that means Facebook has to go.  Yes, it had some positives - keeping up with my family and friends, and also a wonderful group of people who have supported me and kept me entertained!  But after trying my best to limit the negatives, removing liked pages that no longer interest me and getting out of a few groups, I was still inundated with negative messages.  I didn't want to start removing friends just for sharing or liking images that were negative for me.  

Even then, it dawned on me that the bigger concern wasn't what I was allowing myself to be exposed to, but the fact that I was 'checking in' all day, everyday.  I tried a few days off, but still, I would pop in and read.  I would get upset at posts, I would react to images... I'm an emotional junkie and Facebook was just where I was getting my fix!  It's so much safer then life.  

Facebook lets me hide behind a self created image.  I can be a good parent on Facebook so long as I can take a decent picture and spout off a post on how much I love my kids.  No actual parenting required.  I could be fit and healthy, so long as I liked fitness pages and posted the odd photo of me in exercise gear.  I could be anyone I wanted to be.. I just had type the right thing.  It didn't have to be true.

And so I hid.  I focused my attention on my pretend life, my Facebook life.  And hid with all my might from reality.  Because reality sucks.  Reality is ignoring my kids while they play computer and I have my head stuck in my iPad (on Facebook) posting about how awesome my kids are.  Reality is smoking and Facebooking how important health is instead of exercising and cooking healthy meals.  Reality is not organising childcare over the holidays while posting about my awesome career.  Reality is my budget being ignored while I post about my most recent purchase or what I want to buy next.  Reality is a messy house - well, every part of the house that I didn't just take a photo of to post on Facebook!  

This will be my journal of how I reclaim my life from technology, how I stop being a mindless numb participant in a false reality of my own creation, of the creation of my new life.

I have a long way to go.  But I will make progress.

In just a few hours I have played a game of monopoly with two of my children and gone for a 4km walk with them as well.  Small things but it is these small things that create memories for my children. Happy memories!  My kids are so full of life and easily impressed!  It doesn't take much to ensure they feel loved and are happy!  It will be a bit of a mission with the eldest - almost fifteen years old - he's a tough one to crack, and always has been!  But I will continue to find ways to connect with him and help him on his own journey through life!

Boy2 and Boy3 kicked my butt in Monopoly!

And no more hiding from my health!  That 4km walk got me over my 10k steps.. my goal is to match that everyday for seven days!

I will think about my priorities, and what exactly my principles are and let that guide me in my decision making - not my emotions.  I will be self-aware, aware of the thoughts that pass through my mind and how I react to them emotionally.  I will focus on the thoughts that serve me.

The coming months will be the beginning of a journey of self-discovery that will no doubt last a lifetime.