I've just run out of smokes and don't have the money to buy more. Well, I do, but not without breaking my budget - more then it already has been broken.
So that's it. Two hours in and I'm already hitting the 'want a smoke' stage - a general agitation, tightness of the chest, metallic taste in my mouth type feeling.
The reason I want to smoke... To relieve that agitation and physical symptoms created by the last cigarette, and my perception that it somehow evokes relaxation.
The reason I don't want to smoke... It's damn expensive, can't afford it, tastes like shit, smoke gets into my eyes, it takes over my thoughts, reduces concentration and focus, makes my finger nails yellow and my hair yucky, I feel greasy smelly and dirty, sucks up all my time, keeps me up all night, ruins my lungs making running hard, I use it as an excuse to not exercise, and then there are the health risks as well.
Seems like a no-brainer right? But fear is a strong motivator and it's amazing the lengths one will go to to avoid the discomfit of even the mild anxiety of nicotine withdrawels.
Roadblocks...
I have lots of excuses to use as roadblocks. Stress, visiting family, spouse smoking, etc. right now is as good a time as any... No money to buy smokes, husband has patches to quit (which I can fall back on if needed), I have some Valium on prescription for anxiety if it gets too much, and the weather is cold and wet or stinking bloody hot - both good reasons to not go outside for a smoke!
Things to help...
I have to acknowledge that there will be times when I get overwhelmed with the 'need' to smoke, when my mind starts trying to play tricks on me. When I start trying to manipulate my husband into buying smokes, when I think about sneaking out for just one.. knowing it will happen and recognising it for what it is makes it harder to deceive myself.
For physical symptoms:
*Ensuring I eat properly and stay hydrated will help with 'hunger' type feelings and stop me ballooning in weight.
*Cutting out the coffee will help reduce agitation - nicotine dulls the effects of caffeine so you can become more sensitive to it.
*Eat fruit for snacks, or drink juice to maintain blood sugar levels. Nicotine affects your blood sugar levels so you can experience sugar crashes along with cravings! This is apparently why people gain weight when quitting (along with the whole oral fixation thing!).
*breathing exercises can help replace the process of smoking - three deep slow breathes with a hold before releasing can mimic the supposed relaxation response.
*distraction is always good - exercise, Candy Crush, housework, a shower, brush teeth, chew gum, watch a movie, go shopping (anywhere non-smoking), even making a phone call. The less the act is associated with smoking the better, the places you can't smoke (or buy them) are better still.
*boredom is my biggest enemy so I need to balance distraction and activity with a steady input of relaxation as well.
*and my last resort will be the Valium. I've quit smoking before without nicotine replacements but I found it so hard to sleep, and then fatigued the next day, and fearful of another bad nights sleep I caved at the next opportunity.
I believe I am prepared. I'm feeling great, but thinking I might brush my teeth. I've downed a good litre of water and feeling a bit sleepy.
