My life without Facebook

I've been doing a bit of self reflection over the Christmas and New Year period.  My life is not working for me right now, and I'm distracting myself with everything!  I would have missed out on seeing this gorgeous display of almost burst flowers in my garden if I had of allowed myself to remain distracted!



Gorgeous flowers about to bloom in my front yard!

It's time to eliminate distractions and focus on what I want from life.  Even more, to be excited by my life.  I want to move toward a life where I am achieving goals, in my work, my health, as a wife and mother.  I want to achieve success as a scientist, I want to be financially successful, I want to be fit and healthy, I want to take care of my body, I want my children to know I love them, I want my house to be a home that I feel good being in.

I want to be good person, with high ideals and to live by the principles that are guided by my spirit.

I'm not expecting to change overnight, not a huge change anyway, but I have already shifted my mindset.  I will only surround myself with 'inputs' that support my life.  

And that means Facebook has to go.  Yes, it had some positives - keeping up with my family and friends, and also a wonderful group of people who have supported me and kept me entertained!  But after trying my best to limit the negatives, removing liked pages that no longer interest me and getting out of a few groups, I was still inundated with negative messages.  I didn't want to start removing friends just for sharing or liking images that were negative for me.  

Even then, it dawned on me that the bigger concern wasn't what I was allowing myself to be exposed to, but the fact that I was 'checking in' all day, everyday.  I tried a few days off, but still, I would pop in and read.  I would get upset at posts, I would react to images... I'm an emotional junkie and Facebook was just where I was getting my fix!  It's so much safer then life.  

Facebook lets me hide behind a self created image.  I can be a good parent on Facebook so long as I can take a decent picture and spout off a post on how much I love my kids.  No actual parenting required.  I could be fit and healthy, so long as I liked fitness pages and posted the odd photo of me in exercise gear.  I could be anyone I wanted to be.. I just had type the right thing.  It didn't have to be true.

And so I hid.  I focused my attention on my pretend life, my Facebook life.  And hid with all my might from reality.  Because reality sucks.  Reality is ignoring my kids while they play computer and I have my head stuck in my iPad (on Facebook) posting about how awesome my kids are.  Reality is smoking and Facebooking how important health is instead of exercising and cooking healthy meals.  Reality is not organising childcare over the holidays while posting about my awesome career.  Reality is my budget being ignored while I post about my most recent purchase or what I want to buy next.  Reality is a messy house - well, every part of the house that I didn't just take a photo of to post on Facebook!  

This will be my journal of how I reclaim my life from technology, how I stop being a mindless numb participant in a false reality of my own creation, of the creation of my new life.

I have a long way to go.  But I will make progress.

In just a few hours I have played a game of monopoly with two of my children and gone for a 4km walk with them as well.  Small things but it is these small things that create memories for my children. Happy memories!  My kids are so full of life and easily impressed!  It doesn't take much to ensure they feel loved and are happy!  It will be a bit of a mission with the eldest - almost fifteen years old - he's a tough one to crack, and always has been!  But I will continue to find ways to connect with him and help him on his own journey through life!

Boy2 and Boy3 kicked my butt in Monopoly!

And no more hiding from my health!  That 4km walk got me over my 10k steps.. my goal is to match that everyday for seven days!

I will think about my priorities, and what exactly my principles are and let that guide me in my decision making - not my emotions.  I will be self-aware, aware of the thoughts that pass through my mind and how I react to them emotionally.  I will focus on the thoughts that serve me.

The coming months will be the beginning of a journey of self-discovery that will no doubt last a lifetime.

FlyLady Control Journal: OneNote lesson 1

I've done my Flylady Babysteps, but really, I haven't been doing as well as I could.  I am fluttering, just not flying!  I thought I would re-invigorate my passion by starting my control journal, and just to make it interesting, starting it in OneNote!  I'll do a series of lessons, which are actually just "This is what I did" blog posts, on how to use OneNote as a Control Journal.  It will be a shared learning experience - comments and suggestions are always welcome!

First we need to Start a new notebook.

When you start Notebook you will open into a default notebook.  Click on the down arrow next to the name of the notebook (to the right of "Control Journal" though it will be named something else as your default notebook) and it will open a drop down list - the top option is to add a notebook.

So you go through the motions of the set-up - make sure you save to either Skydrive or Dropbox if you want access at other locations or on your smart-devices.  I use Dropbox but Windows 8.1 makes it really inconvenient to set-up - you have to go hunting for it!

Next we will do a basic Inbox set-up. 

I love using an Inbox for each of my Notepads as it just makes it so easy to send stuff to each one.

So what is an Inbox and why use it?  Just like on your desk, an inbox lets you put stuff somewhere until you have time to get around to processing it.  By setting up an Inbox tab, it's like have a folder slip in the front of your notepad to keep post-its, notes, receipts, cut outs from magazines etc that you collect through out the day, and get then decide where to put them later when you have time.

This is great for cutting back on clutter, and for while your setting up your Control Journal and might not have a place for everything yet!  Everything that goes into the inbox needs to be either deleted or put somewhere - so it's kind of like de-cluttering before it gets into your Control Journal!

 

**Disclaimer: the Inbox tab wasn't my original idea - I was reading up on a productivity technique called "Getting things Done" and came across a few tutorials on how to set up OneNote using those concepts.

 

So lets get to it!

 

Change the title of your first Tab to Inbox (I've already done it in the picture up above.  You can delete the other stuff on the page though you may want to read it first if you are new to OneNote!

Now we are going to go into the "File" tab - the big purple one at the top left!  Go down and click on options.  You can change some of these if you like - I changed my font in general to New Times Roman 12pt, changed my display around so my page list is on the left, and I recommend just having a look through all the options to make sure they suit you.  Try a few things out and see what happens!

 

The big deal here though, is the 'Send to OneNote" section!

I have my Inbox set up in a Notebook called 'getting things done' - it is my entry Notebook and I use it to process any 'incoming' information. Anything I send to OneNote goes to that Notebook - and in particular - the Inbox.  I do this because I use OneNote primarily for processing my information at work.  I may end up changing this so that it asks where to send to it on my home computer so I have more options at home! (But work is work!)

So click on 'Send to OneNote' and take a look.  This is what mine looks like:

Yours will most likely have something different!  Just click on the little arrow down for each one and select 'set default location…'.  You will then have a box come up with a directory of your notebook (very pretty too I might add!).  Choose the Tab you labelled Inbox for your Control Journal Notebook.  Remember to do this for each of the items!  This gives a quick idea of just how many ways you can quickly and easily send information to OneNote!

Now anything you see on the web, or emails or anything really you can use the little OneNote add-on button (you'll see it on your browser tab, in Word, Excel, Outlook - by right clicking, or even printing to OneNote!) - and send it to this Inbox page!

 

Setting up our "Control Journal Project"

Here is the fun part!  We will use this tool to quickly and easily create a Journal page for making our Control Journal so we don't have to try and find the webpages each time.

 

So let's head to the Flylady Control Journal Webpage.  Can you see the OneNote add-on in your tool bar?  A purple cube with the letter N and an arrow underneath?  That is your 'Send to OneNote' button.  Hit that button.  If all goes well, your OneNote program will leap to the top of your screen and you will see a new page in your Notebook!  Now, click back to the webpage, hit the link for the first step and when that page opens up, hit that 'send to OneNote' button again, back to the webpage, hit the 'next step' link, send to OneNote - and yes, you need to keep repeating until you have all 15 pages! 

If someone is adventurous and tech savvy they might see if there is a way to select all 15 steps (with their links) on the Control Journal page and "send all target links to OneNote" at once!

If you are just starting out you can do this for the 31 Baby Steps as well.

Once that is done I want you go to the second Tab, the one next to Online, and call it Control Journal Lessons or something along those lines. 

Next head back to your inbox and check out those 15 pages of Control Journal lessons sitting there!  Isn't is amazing that you can get that much info at your fingertips so easily!  Now we want to move all these pages into the right section - EASY!  Click on the top one to highlight it then move your mouse to hover over the last one, hold shift down while you left click to select them all.  Now right click on the list (or Ctrl+Alt+M) and select 'Move or Copy..'., select the right tab from the list and hit Okay!

Go to the Control Journal tab and check out your handiwork! 

But.. I hear you say - there is a whole bunch of webpagey stuff on there and its just not very pretty!!  I say go for it.. make it pretty, edit it, add to it, play with it.  Make notes, draw on it - use every feature you can find and have some fun!  You can even re-name the pages so you don't have see "Control Journal" 15 times in a row!  Get it pretty, but most importantly "Brainstorm"!  Get all your ideas out of your head - set your timer for 15mins and spend some time on each page jotting down thoughts about how you envisage that part of your control journal - do you need it, have you got other ideas of what could work, where might you find some information, is there anything you might want to do now to get ready for it?  And most of all HAVE FUN!

 

I did a basic clean up and this is what I had before my brainstorm!

 

 

 

If you are up for it, go do the same for those Babystep lessons!

 

If you are an Outlook user as well... Go to the first step page.. Highlight the heading text and right click, selecting the flag in the top right corner of the edit box that pops up.  This flags the item as a task.  If you go to Outlook you can add a reminder to the task at a certain time, or throw it into your calendar - which ever way best works for you to remember to get back into it. I'll be explaining this in more detail as I go.  I'm really enjoying Outlook and OneNote as a productivity team and they should work well with Flylady!

I hope this gives you some idea of how powerful the OneNote software is and how it can really simplify things and help cut back on clutter!

I will link to the next lesson here once it is done!

Quitting: Day three and Four!

I've got a 24 hr delay thing happening with my posts thanks to a dodgy internet connection on my iPad but let's hope I have it working now!

So Day three was surprisingly easy.  I had a few moments but that constant edginess of the first 24hrs was gone completely.. Until bedtime!  I used Valium to sleep again but woke up quite early feeling great!

Day four was even better with no cravings at all really... Just a general feeling do missing something.  It's all head work from here on out so it's time to put away the food!  Lol. Yes, I've been a little snacky at night!

My reading tells me it can be a while before my brain chemistry adjusts to the changes, 3-4 weeks apparently but I'm ready.  I know my excuses and weaknesses and have my answers and rebuttles to make sure I win!  

I'm an ex smoker.. Time to start living again!

Quitting: Day 2

I've made it 24hrs and I tell ya, no where near as bad as I thought.

I'm a bit antsy, teeth grindy, and a bit over expressive with a tendency toward utter fatigue!  That of course makes perfect sense.  NOT!  Nothing like bit of contridiction! I did get sleep last night but also had a Valium and was waking from 4am onwards!

My sore throat and allergies from the weekend have cleared up and the stinky smell is all gone.  I still have a slight yuk taste in my mouth but it's getting better.

Things that have helped so far... Breathing techniques have come in handy, just to take off the edge, and I am very glad I haven't had too much caffeine either - just one coffee this morning and I've had a few mouthfuls of tea this afternoon.  Water was great this morning, but I've resorted to M&Ms right now!  Lol Both seem to give my mouth something to do to relieve the aggravation.  I've kept up my food, including some fruit juice to try and keep my blood sugar as stable as possible ( these M&Ms won't help but hey, they are yummy!).

I think the funniest thing is the psychological game I'm playing with hubby...  I've been dancing round acting like I'm completely normal, saying patches are for pussies and bragging that I've quit and it's so easy - and he is convinced I've got a packet stashed somewhere!  It's keeping him motivated because he wants to 'win' and by pretending to be all blasé and cool about quitting, I'm believing it which is making it 100% easier!

Negatives... I'm still battling occasionally with the 'but I want to smoke' thoughts every now and then.  I'm beginning to see through them as my brain trying to rationalise the need to relieve the tension it feels.  I'm hoping this feeling starts to ease now.  I am dreading that it might get worse!  I'm sure I've read Day 3 is the worst but I guess I still have 24hrs before I hit that!  

Looking forward to moving on and doing my budget without any smokes to buy!

Quitting: Day 1

I've just run out of smokes and don't have the money to buy more.  Well, I do, but not without breaking my budget - more then it already has been broken.

So that's it.  Two hours in and I'm already hitting the 'want a smoke' stage - a general agitation, tightness of the chest, metallic taste in my mouth type feeling.

The reason I want to smoke... To relieve that agitation and physical symptoms created by the last cigarette, and my perception that it somehow evokes relaxation.

The reason I don't want to smoke... It's damn expensive, can't afford it, tastes like shit, smoke gets into my eyes, it takes over my thoughts, reduces concentration and focus, makes my finger nails yellow and my hair yucky, I feel greasy smelly and dirty, sucks up all my time, keeps me up all night, ruins my lungs making running hard, I use it as an excuse to not exercise, and then there are the health risks as well.

Seems like a no-brainer right?  But fear is a strong motivator and it's amazing the lengths one will go to to avoid the discomfit of even the mild anxiety of nicotine withdrawels.

Roadblocks...

I have lots of excuses to use as roadblocks.  Stress, visiting family, spouse smoking, etc.  right now is as good a time as any... No money to buy smokes, husband has patches to quit (which I can fall back on if needed), I have some Valium on prescription for anxiety if it gets too much, and the weather is cold and wet or stinking bloody hot - both good reasons to not go outside for a smoke!

Things to help...

I have to acknowledge that there will be times when I get overwhelmed with the 'need' to smoke, when my mind starts trying to play tricks on me.  When I start trying to manipulate my husband into buying smokes, when I think about sneaking out for just one.. knowing it will happen and recognising it for what it is makes it harder to deceive myself.

For physical symptoms:

*Ensuring I eat properly and stay hydrated will help with 'hunger' type feelings and stop me ballooning in weight.

*Cutting out the coffee will help reduce agitation - nicotine dulls the effects of caffeine so you can become more sensitive to it.

*Eat fruit for snacks, or drink juice to maintain blood sugar levels.  Nicotine affects your blood sugar levels so you can experience sugar crashes along with cravings!  This is apparently why people gain weight when quitting (along with the whole oral fixation thing!).

*breathing exercises can help replace the process of smoking - three deep slow breathes with a hold before releasing can mimic the supposed relaxation response.

*distraction is always good - exercise, Candy Crush, housework, a shower, brush teeth, chew gum, watch a movie, go shopping (anywhere non-smoking), even making a phone call.  The less the act is associated with smoking the better, the places you can't smoke (or buy them) are better still.  

*boredom is my biggest enemy so I need to balance distraction and activity with a steady input of relaxation as well.

*and my last resort will be the Valium.  I've quit smoking before without nicotine replacements but I found it so hard to sleep, and then fatigued the next day, and fearful of another bad nights sleep I caved at the next opportunity.

I believe I am prepared.  I'm feeling great, but thinking I might brush my teeth.  I've downed a good litre of water and feeling a bit sleepy.